wanWan

The pic says it all. It definitely meant something to all of us... Can't wait for another moments like this liao............ haha ^-^

Huh… juz bek frm skool oni.Today havin maths exam. Da paper is ok. But, still hop tat I can do better. Thanks a million time to Mr. Ong. If not bcoz of him, I would hav sitting thr waiting 2 fail my Maths paper. TQ TQ TQ TQ. ^-^ In contrast, I’ve had a very horrible and terrible moment wif my chem. paper yesterday. Miss Foh, sry… It’s not tat u r not good. But, it’s us tat didn’t work it out. But still I hope tat v can do better next time. Gambath!! Jia Yu!!

I had already set my mind 2 giv up STPM until yesterday chem. paper. I feel tat I shouldn’t think tat way. I realize tat I shouldn’t giv up without tryin my very best. I dun wanna waste my half and a year time in form 6. So, I’ll fight 4 it without regret!! But, dunno how long dis spirit will ‘bertahan’ loh… =S

Also, I wanna wish all the good and ‘bad’ teachers a very Hippie Teacher’s day!!... hehe =P

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ I listen quite frequently to myFm recently. Dunno y… Mayb, wanna 2 get some relaxation b4 next week mid year exam. Hop I can do well in my exam especially in my chem. paper. Somehow, I felt like I wanna give up on STPM. But, I realize tht once I give it up, thr’ll be no turning back. I’ll eventually regret of it. No matter wht, I’ll stay strong and continue this journey. Moreover, thr’s juz 6 months left. Yea, gambateh and have fun!!
Hmm, continue my story bah. Yesterday, I got to noe from myFm tht dis coming wed is Leehom bday. So, da Fm is airing some of Leehom’s songs from previous album of year 1996-1999. I’m surprise tht Leehom has already started his singing career at tht time. I was still a young kid thn. I think tht time I was only 9 years old. The FM aired some of his English songs. I’m surprise too to noe tht he does write and compose English songs. He oso re-sing other eng songs. I have recorded all da songs. Tq 2 my multifunction camera =P… The English songs aired yesterday were; As Long As I Have You, Dream Again, Stand By Me and Love Me Tender. Chinese songs were; Da Kai Ai (lyrics and compose by Jay Chou-----another surprise) and one more, but I 4got abt da title. The way he delivered da songs impressed me very much. This really caught my attention. I think I’m beginning to like him and definitely wanna noe more about him… (face oso red liao)--> o^-^o Now, I begin to appreciate more abt his songs tht I’ve edi knew such as Ai de jiu shi ni, ni bu zai, 4ever love, wei yi, hao xin fen shou, liu lei shou xin, can you feel my world, kiss goodbye, ai shang wei lai de ni, bu yau hai pa, hua tian cuo, bu ke neng cuo guo ni, and many many many more. Previously, I oni like listening 2 his song… Everything is different now. Hop tht I’ll hav da chance 2 listen 2 all his previous albums… By da way, I wud like 2 wish Leehom a very Hippi3 Birthd@y here. Wish him all da best in his career too and muz make many good music worr!! o^-^o GAMBATEH!!!

I think 2day is very funny. I skipped school yesterday. That’s wht I seldom do since Miss Foh became our class teacher. The main reason I skip school is because thr’s no chem. class., ‘Her class’ on tat day… haha. Wht so funny is tat v go to school today whn it’s officially off for form 6 student except those who’s taking MUET speaking. Guess why I attend school today… Yup… because v hav 3 periods chem. class 2day. Guess wht happened!! Out of 26 students in our class, oni 2 of us (not counting those who are taking MUET) attend school. Oni 2 of us!! Imagine. We were quite ‘erm ho yi si’. We were like going 2 school on the wrong day. Coz both of us skipped school yesterday whn it’s officially on and attends school whn it’s officially off. But, y r v still coming to school even though it’s officially off!!! It’s all because of MISS FOH!! It’s all because of NEXT WEEK CHEM EXAM!!! But, our effort is not appreciated. She said she cant teach. WHT!! R u kidding?? ‘I will still continue teaching even though thr’s only ONE student in MY class’… tht’s wht she told us b4 dis. And see wht happen now!!
LOL… I’m not mad actually. I juz feel tht it’s very ridiculous. Both of us are quite loyal to Miss Foh. However, I swear tht thing like dis will never happen again. After wht happened, our loyalty 2 Miss Foh has already became our history… Moreover, y should I become such a good girl? No reason rite? I think I should consider skipping school on the day whn her chem. class is on especially the 3 periods class one…. LOL..^-^

next time baru update this post...coz now vry very bz..
hehe^-^ smile....

Woh....Finally!! I've taken 3 hours to edit this pic. Really really love it. I'm hoping to let them see it now... haha^-^
This pic was actually taken in pyramid dis evening. After a year of goin through Form 6 2gether, can't blief tat dis is oni our second outings 2gether... Whteverlah.... muahaha. I really enjoy myself 2day and v have had a good laugh 2gether wif a dozen of audience in the cinema whn watching 'She's the Man'. This movie very nice wei... Muz not miss it ya... haha. ^-^

I have been doing my maths til 1.45 this morning. It’s unbelievable tat I manage to solve almost all the ques. I tot doin maths in Form 6 is suck. And I almost gave it up. Thanks to Differentiation and Functions. They brought back my interest and spirit as well.

All this while, I’ve been avoiding doin long ques. Whnever I saw such ques, I’ll think tat it’s very difficult. I’ll skip it and leave it 4 da teacher to do it for us. I even did tat in exam. I’d never give myself a chance to understand it. However, thr’s many times I find tat the solutions are not as complicated and difficult as I thought. I tried those ques out last night. To my surprise, I got almost all the answers. This time, I felt very satisfied becoz I did it all by my own...

This made me realize tat if you really wanna succeed in something, you gotta try no matter how lazy you are, you gotta do it no matter how you hate it, you gotta give yourself a chance no matter how hard it would be… You will never noe if you never try. You will never like it if you never try. You will never love it if you never try.

But still, Probability is the topic I hate most. Why? Cause I don’t understand da concept. I guess I need to try it out too… Hop I can love whtever subjects I hate now b4 STPM!!... hehe^-^

I had finally gave the letter 2 her. I don’t know how she felt after reading da letter. Whtever…everything is over between us. I’m not happy wif wht i had done. But, I’ll not be happy either if things continue tat way. I’m actually feeling very afraid, afraid of doing da wrong thing, afraid of making da wrong decision, afraid of hurting other ppl…. However things are getting better this few days. I realize tat I can’t afraid much. I shud give myself a chance and do it 4 myself. Maybe I did made a right choice. ‘Coz now I'm myself once again… every time in anytime.

Ppl said: A) You'll happy if you do it 4 ur own. But, wht abt the other?
B) You feel miserable if you do it 4 the other and the other will b
happy. But, wht abt ur own?

Which 1 would you wanna be? For me, A & B do applied in different situation. I’ll choose A if I’m doing it 4 my own. I’ll choose A if the person is unimportant to me. I’ll choose A if the person doesn’t worth 4 me to think and care too much for him or her. B would be my choice if I’m doing it for someone very important to me. I’ll choose B if it’s worth 4 me to do so. I’ll choose B without feeling miserable and I will never regret doing it even if I’m the 1 who will get hurt at the end. I’ll never regret if everything comes back to me at the end.....

17 March 2006

I think this is a unique day.
Day before, I was thinking how am I going to enjoy myself tomorrow when a stranger will join in my outing with my friends!! Moreover, our outing is in Myktv at Mid Valley. I thought my outing (my only outing with friends this mid year holiday) has completely ruined. Habislah!! Really thanks to the unexpected stranger. How are we (referring to Elaine and I) going to express ourselves!! Actually, this so call stranger (Wai Hong) is Wai Bing’s primary school friend. Only Elaine and I do not really know this guy.
However, things are not that bad that I thought it’ll be. He is quite a nice guy actually. He drove us to mid valley. Shervy was incredibly pretty that day. Wai Bing was the cutest among us…..and as usual, Elaine is all in pink. Haha…. ^-^
In Myktv, things started out smoothly. The environment in that room was a bit weird at first especially when I sang Jay Chou’s songs. I mean we were not that crazy like before. Maybe it’s because Wai Hong was there. I think Elaine can feel it too. But, never mind ‘cos I’m still ok with ‘that kinda’ environment. Shervy was the main character in the room. She really can sing. She was just amazing.
After an hour like that, things got heated up slowly. We started standing up while singing, trying to live up the songs and also the environment; added in some motions by moving our hands and then our legs and then our body. Next, we put some strength in our voice. From singing, we turned it into shouting. From shouting, we turned it into….jumping maybe….I remember some workers peep into our room through the transparent glass at the door a few times. That was very funny. Maybe we shouted too loud. I also remember playing with Elaine through the door while she was answering a call. hehe. ^-^ Yeah!! We finally manage to bring out the crazy side we used to have….haha. Wai Hong and Shervy might be shocked by us. But, they too join in our craziness. Wai Hong was very ‘geng’ actually. He sang the ‘geng go gam cok’, a 10+minutes songs and then shouting along with us. By the end of the outing, he almost lost his voice. We almost lost our voice too. But….. who care?? We were all having fun together.
We went home after buying a birthday gift and ‘some earrings’. Our craziness hasn’t recovered yet and we bring it into the car. Maybe it’s time to live up the environment inside the car….menakutkan anot?.....^-^ We even took pictures in the ‘kancil’ car. I wonder what the drivers on the road think when seeing a non stop flash in our car. The craziest thing that happened was when Wai Bing showed the camera to a lorry beside our car. The three Chinese guys in the lorry were quite sporty and co-operative. We did not surprise them. Perhaps, we were already in the middle of their attention….. hehe. They gave us a super friendly smile together with some funky post. Wai Bing really took their picture. That’s the craziest thing we ever did. If somebody ask us why thing like this happen? I’ll tell them that it’s simply because we are BESTFRIEND!! ^-^
We end up the day by snapping pictures outside Wai Bing’s house. A wonderful day should have a picture as prove or else, it would be very ‘ke si’….. Why I called it a unique day? Simply because of our unique craziness. How unique? Can't explain loh 'cos no one can understand it more than us do....^-^
~fRi3nds4ev3r~

Last week was the busiest week I ever had. I've been sleeping for only 3 hours in 5 continuous days. I have to weak up at 5 a.m. every morning. School until 1.30 p.m and then stayed back for activities until evening and then do my bio project until 1.30 in the morning. That's terrible!! I din't even have the chance to rest. Although I'm tire, I enjoy it. Even though sometimes thing did not work the way I want it to be, but I'm still happy doing what I'm doing now.....GaMbAtEh!!!

After going through all the bad things this morning, we finally reached our destination, our Bio research site. It was sizzling when we reached there. Fortunately, it didn’t rain out. If not, it will be our worst day of the year!! hehe….

I brought along my camera and I was having a lot of fun taking picture of various kind of insects. I have never seen some of the insects before. The land is really rich of insects. A lot of various species of butterflies and moths and dragonflies were found there. They were all different in colour. I should have done my insect project there. But, it’s too late to regret now…..suan bah!! We even saw a small cockroach there. It was of a different species. We also saw various type of grasshopper. Some of them were as green as grass and some of them were light brown like dead stems or dead leaves and some even possess a few colours to match the colour of rocks. It’s amazing to see how the colour of their body acts as a camouflage to protect them from their predators. Then, I spot a beautiful caterpillar attached under a branch of a small tree. It’s very different from the worms. I’ve never see all this things with my own eyes b4. Really happy to experience it. It’s a wonder of nature and I think I begin to fall in love with it. I feel very happy to see all this wonderful creatures living freely and harmoniously on that small piece of land. The land belongs to them and I really hope that human beings will never take it away from them. I would b very happy if i can b like them....zhe you zhe zai de shen huo....^-^

After we left the idiot store, we went to the bus-stop. We will be going to the undeveloped plot of land near Hui Yee’s house to do our Bio project. While waiting for the bus, we didn’t talk much. We were all in a very bad mood. Hui Yee was sitting and talking with Chee Wei while Kit Yee and I were standing near them. Suddenly, I saw Hui Yee crying. I know what was going on. I guess she was crying because of her problem with her family. She had told me the story that morning. I know if I approach her, her crying will become even worst. So, I just let her cry. This was the first time I saw her crying. I think I understand her more now. Even though sometimes she seems like she is fine when something happens, even though she was acting like that is no big deal, she is just like us. It just that she kept them too much in her own.
Hui Yee, if you really got problems, don’t keep it in your own. Although sometimes we might not be able to help you with it, it’s at least you share it with someone, someone that you trust. It will be a lot better than keeping it into yourself. Hui Yee, GAMBATEH!!!

I have an AJK meeting with the PBSM this morning. We discuss about the camp we in charged of. I’ve never join any camp before. So, this is my first time. I enjoy the discussion very much and I think the activities we planned are very interesting. I hope everything will goes according to our plans. I hope everybody who joins in the camp will enjoy it. Just can’t wait for the early of next month!!

After the meeting, Tan and I went for lunch beside Raju restaurant near our school. Chee Wei and Kit Yee accompanied us. Later on, we saw Wynn Jersey, our camp head and he joins us together. We have had a nice conversation. I thought this was a nice day. Whoever knows there is something awaiting us in just a few minutes time that will spoilt our mood COMPLETELY!!

After the lunch, we went to a nearby store to buy a 200ml tin for our bio project. However, we can’t find any. So, we tried to find some tin which is about 200ml or more. Then, out of a sudden, the store’s ‘tauke’ scold us. He asked us to do our discussion outside and he said that we were disturbing his business and had scared his customers away!! He also said that we should use our head and even scolded us stupid the time when we left his idiot store!! This is so RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . Is it wrong to TALK in his store! There is only one customer when we went into his store and the customer had left after paying for his things. No other people pass by his store after that. Is it because that we were wearing student t-shirt that make him thought that we were trying to steal his DUSTY STUPID magazines and DIRTY EXPIRED foods!!! I really can’t stand it anymore. He is a jerk!! If not because our school is just nearby, I’ll definitely ask that idiot to close his store and ‘guai guai’ eat and sleep in his house!! A customer is always a customer and you should respect them no matter who they are. He is SUCK and just a FUCKING IDIOT!!! I will never go into this fucking store again. He thinks his store is made up of gold ‘siong gam’ and worth a million dollar. It’s nothing but just a SHIT!!!! ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUH!! I feel very good now. I don’t mean to scold that idiot this way. I just want to let my anger out. I’ve keep this for the whole evening. So, be careful when you shop at this kind of store!!

I’m having cross country practice today. It’s a fun activity actually but I don’t feel like running today. Fortunately, I was exempted from the practice. I’m one of the PBSM members and I was told to help out those who got injured during the practice. My team stays in school. Yoke Nam is in the same team with me. Then, I got to know this kid, Wai K. He is our team leader and I’m one year his senior. He is quite sporty (got a lot of dirty joke) and can mix around very easily. I also got to know this Malay kid. If I’m not mistaken, his name is Hafizi… I found out something from them. They told me that they are not in the same boat with Radzi, our PBSM head. This surprised me. No wonder I never see them during PBSM meeting. I understand how they feel. I would be like them too if I’m in their shoe. However, I still hope that we can cooperate and work as a team. We still need their surport...
We had had a good conversation before the runners reach the school. Nobody got serious injury on the way. However, one student got a serious cramp in his leg. Since Yoke Nam and I are inexperience, Wai K helps him out. He got quite serious when helping him. But, he still comes out with some dirty joke as usual. Haha… We quite pity the student. He’s still in great pain even after an hour of treatment. We finally decided to get some help from Encik Badrul, our sport teacher. The teacher insisted that the student might have his muscle torn!! OMG!! I hope that's not true!!
We finally went home after the student was sent to the hospital. I really hope things like this would not happen again during the real cross country.

4th February 2006
I’m back from back from Ipoh yesterday. This 4 years CNY have leave me with a very special feeling. Every time during CNY, every time I went to my ‘wai po’ house, every time… every time I saw him, this feeling keep on coming back and it’s growing stronger year after year. Yea, I know what this feeling meant. I have tried to forget it; I have tried to throw it away; I have tried to cover it up with black clothes; I have tried everything I can… but, it’s useless. I am only lying to myself. No matter how many times I got hurt days after CNY, after he went back to Sg, I still have this feeling for him. No matter how many times he hurt me, I still have this feeling for him. No matter how different he is when he is on 9, I still can’t forget him. I thought that it’s already enough as long as I can see him. Although it’s only once a year, although it’s only two days every CNY, although it’s only two days… it’s already enough. But, is it really enough? Is it really enough? I was wrong. In fact, I want more than that. I want to be more than a friend with him.
Now that he has went back to Sg. He didn’t greet me good bye as usual this year because I don’t dare to look at him. I don’t dare to look into his eyes as what I did years before. Then suddenly, ‘yi jiong’ ask me to drive as I did not drive for 10 months. He asked me to drive to the station where he and family were waiting for the bus. I was very happy. I did not care how far it’ll be. I just know that I’ll be safe as long as ‘yi jiong’ is sitting by my side. I just know that I want to see him one last time. There is nothing in my mind except him. Who knows what will happen next year. I want to see him… to say good bye… However, I can’t fight with destiny. We went to the wrong station... ‘Yi Jiong’ got mix up. But still, I have confidence that I'll see him which I din't at the end...
I’m going to miss him a lot. The next day, when I thought my cousin ‘fang wo fei ji’ (which is not true), I cry out aloud, hiding under my pillow. I cried not because that I’m mad with my cousin, but because of the last night incident. Am I getting upset going to the wrong station? I don’t know.
I know that it is impossible for me to be with him. I know it’ll always be impossible. No matter he loves me or not, it’ll always be impossible. We were really far apart huh… Never mind, I’ll be okay. I’m happy as long as he is leading a healthy life, I’m happy as long as he is fine. However, it’s hurt when thinking that someday, he will has someone special in his life which it will not be me, and it’ll be more hurt when thinking that eventually, I’ll be invited to his wedding party. I can do nothing about it… Or perhaps, it’s me that don’t want to do anything about it. I really want to tell him my feeling. I really want to know his feeling. I really want to know his everything. But, something holds me back. Because he was my cousin and I’m not the perfect girl after all……

Wen Jie, I hope my feeling for you will fade away when I see you again next time. Cya again and happy forever….

I just finish packing oni. Later, i'll be going back to Ipoh to celebrate CNY..... I feel very tire this whole week. I've been staying back after school almost every day! On Mon, i'm having maths tuition, on Tues, I stayed for the library gotong-royong, on Wed, i went to Sunway pyramid, on Thurs, i went to IOI Mall and finally onFri, i went for Bio tuition in Kl. This was very tiring. That's why I felt sleepy whenever teachers were teaching in class. Imagine!! Waking up at 5am every day in the morning, school until 1.10pm, then go 'lepak' until 7pm, reached home at 8.30pm, then do all my stuff, complete my homework.....OMG!! hmm....however, i never regret or feeling guilty coz i really enjoy myself...hehe ...somore, CNY is coming!!...^-^

After the diagnostic test ended. I went to IOI Mall with Chee Wei. I bought another 2 pairs of earrings. In fact, I’ve already bought 3 pairs of earrings last week in KL!!! I think I’ve been addicted to it!! Other than that, I also bought 2 necklaces. One is for MC (b-day present) and the other one is for myself. That’s how my RM 40 flew away…hehe. However, I still did not manage to buy any new clothes for the coming CNY. Probably, it’s because I wanna wait until today’s outing. It’s just around 7 hours away…. =P… After that, I also had had my hair cut to have a new look for the CNY… Whatever; I just can’t wait for my coming outing with Elaine and Ah Bing. Anyway, I’ll have a good night sleep first... =Pzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_---muacks!!

This week is really a one long week. My diagnostic test is just over today. The worst part is I can't even predict my result whereas the good thing is I done quite well in my Math especially in paper 2. Although it can't help much, it is still better than nothing. Never mind, at least I had done my best and I know things will be getting better next time. That's what I promised myself....hehe!!
I got band 4 in MUET. It's just 8 marks away from band 5!! I'm not disappointed by the result 'cause I know the 8 marks are not easy to get. I'll resit for the test. Hopefully I can achieve a better result then. This Monday, I'd been appointed as the secretary of the Sport Prefect Society. I felt that this is going to be a very interesting experience 'cause the teachers are super friendly and helping towards me and the whole BIRO leaders and all the members are very cooperative. Another opportunity in La Salle huh!!... Thank you very much. Thanks to Woon Mei and friends who appointed me for the post. Thanks to all of you!!!(=P)(=P)

School has been started for around 2 weeks. I've been having a good time. Fortunately, I completed all my assignments. So, I didn't get so busy and I concentrated in the hw. I'll be having test this week. I'll try my best. And I can't wait for this coming Saturday. I'd promise to go shopping with Elaine. Hehe... hopefully, we'll get some nice clothes for the coming Chinese New Year!! Still I hope she'll surprise me with good news that I’ve been waiting so that we'll be able to shop with a nice and good mood..... I believe everything will turn out right for her. Wish her all the best throughout the year and happy always. Laine laine, cheers up and GAMBATEH!! Also wish that I’ll get some improvement in my result and regain back my confident... laine laine, you too ar...=P